How Do You Describe God?

Recently I was asked "how do you describe God?" 

Well...

(blank space to represent a long period of time passing while I contemplated an answer...)

How do you describe something that you have never physically seen, heard, touched, smelled or tasted?  Do you rely primarily on the experiences of others?  Do you make something up?  

How do you reveal one of the greatest mysteries of humankind in simple words?  Is it even possible?

Do I describe God in the things that I see where I feel God is present...? The newly budding trees?  The loving eyes of our Chihuahua-Dachshund mix?  The gentle hum of a parent rocking their child to sleep? The feeling of your stomach being filled after a period of great hunger?

The words of Lillian Daniel enter into my mind as my list begins to seem as if it is something shared by someone who is "Spiritual but not Religious." Someone who speaks of seeing God in the sunsets...Daniel says; "any idiot can see God in the sunset."  Who doesn't?

And in reality...yes, sometimes I can see God in a sunset...and in all of those other things that I've listed.  But even now it seems that my list is far from complete.

So this morning, this question was rolling around in my head and here’s where it landed...

I would describe God as:

• the voice of reason that enters into our thoughts when we allow it enough time to speak
• the chill up our spine when a song that we sing (aloud or within) roots deep within our being
• the guide in our decision-making that just seems to ‘make sense’ – more than listening to our gut
• the tightening of our stomach when we are witness to injustice
• the sense of gratitude when we pay attention to our breath...or the breathing of others
• the brilliance seen in birth
• the joy seen in growth
• the sorrow seen in death

And ultimately (and this seems like a throw-away, but it’s not), I would describe God as MYSTERY.  But how do we explain that to others?

How do you explain what it’s like to give birth to a child

–when the one listening will never have that opportunity?

How do you paint a picture of what it is to be loved

–when the one viewing your painting knows only a life of pain and abuse?

How do you let someone know that there is a presence within us that when we are opened to it, will burst forth in light and wisdom and will cast away all doubt

– when the one whom we encounter is blind to that interpretation?

God is...an understanding...an experience...a mystery, open for one and all to take in yet presenting in so many different ways...sunsets included.  And it is up to us as individuals to put words to that understanding.  Only then can we speak the experience of God to others...hoping they too will have the mystery revealed to them.

Final Meals...

For many years, I was known to have said that for me, Maundy Thursday was one of the most powerful days in our Christian calendar.  I looked at this day...actually, this night as a time when true faith comes into question...time and time again, for me and quite possibly for many others. 

At least, that's what I think of when I consider what it must have been like to be one of those gathered for that final meal with Jesus.  Of course, not knowing the exact details of that night my mind takes a journey of inserting ideas and experiences that mirror my own life.

I think of the many "final meals" I have had with others in my life. 

the final meal I ate with my grandparents...all of whom have left this world
the final meal I shared in a time of fellowship, cookies and coffee with my home congregation in Iowa
the final meal I enjoyed in Maine, as my seminary career (finally) came to an end

I think of those with whom I feasted...friends, family, strangers, acquaintances...all having had touched my life in some way...and now?  Now we are apart...not knowing if our paths will cross again. 

It must have been similar for those whom Jesus kept near...the Disciples and friends that shared with him in ministry and now found themselves once again sharing in a meal. 

What thoughts go through the mind when we encounter one of those "last meals?" "last moments?"

As a Christian...a follower of Jesus and his teachings...one thought that goes through my mind is that even if a meal I share with someone is to be the last, I am comforted in knowing that we will connect again...if not here on earth than certainly in the experience that follows.  And as cliche as it may sound, I truly do understand that each encounter I have is someone shaping me and therefore those with whom I feast, those who touch my life, will continue within me.

But I cannot imagine those thoughts going through the minds of Jesus' friends.  For sure, they must have had concern for Jesus...traveling with him from town to town...witnessing him speaking the truth to power...ultimately pissing off those who saw their way as "THE way." 

So imagine for a moment, this friend and teacher - Jesus, reclined at table with you one last time.  What is to come?  How will you go on?  What will your life, your ministry look like if this charismatic, truth-teller is no longer in the lead? 

For the faithful Jesus-follower, these questions are moot...we continue to follow Jesus to this day, living a life where his teachings are just as fresh as the day he allegedly spoke them 2000 years ago. 

But consider what life would be like if the man in whom we have invested so much of ourselves is about to disappear...forever... How will we go on?

Several years ago I spent this night in the seminary chapel with a dear friend who not only drew beautiful music from the piano but also offered an ear to which I voiced my frustration.  If you had walked into the chapel that night you would have found me on the floor...on my back...tears in my eyes and anger in my heart... for in that moment I had a very clear understanding of what it meant to have someone so vital to my existence simply disappear.  In this case, it wasn't that Jesus would not longer be with me... it was God who was absent.  I had been thrust over a faith precipice, finding that I had nothing to hold on to that would keep me from plunging into the darkest deep.  I had lost faith in God's presence.  I was now on my own.

How was I to go on?

It is a question that comes and goes from time to time in this journey of faith I continue to try and navigate.  Perhaps (hopefully) in this I am not alone.

Yes, there's a great story to be told of what brought me up off that chapel floor and gave strength to my legs once again walking a path of faith with God walking alongside me.  But I will save that for another time.

Because tonight is a night of unanswered questions.  It is a night of loss, darkness, desertion and great suffering.  It will begin in celebration and end in pain.

So I leave it there...hanging off the precipice...not knowing what will jut out to offer us an alternate ending to our story.  I leave it there for a few hours...a few days... perhaps even a few months... A time to reconsider how it is that we are living...how it is that we are prepared for this life because of the teachings we have absorbed.

May this night be a night of great tension for you as I know it will be for me.  May it be a time of deep, faithful questioning that ultimately could land us in a relationship with this man Jesus that encourages us to risk it all as we too, speak the truth to power, follow the truth-teller and become change-agents in a world desperately in need of what we have to share.  May we find our way through the darkness and eventually experience the rest of the story...

How Far Are We Willing to Go?

There are several words that get thrown around in our Christian tradition...so often, in fact that we sometimes lose sight of what they truly mean.

Discipleship
Church
Community
Faith

And for those of you who know me well...(my favorite)...JOURNEY

Well, we are starting another one...another journey.  This time it is an intentional journey through the season of Lent.  Now for those who may think similarly to my (Catholic) father...yes, Lent is something that we observe in the United Church of Christ as well...because we too, are Christian.

So back to this journey.  What does it mean to journey through a season in the church?  Will we be going somewhere physically?  Will we need to be mindful of those of us for whom physical movement is limited?  Where will we begin?  And the ultimate question... how far are we willing to go?

Journey, in this context, is more of a process than a physical trip.  Our journey this Lent will take us on a spiritual path alongside this man Jesus.  We will listen and watch closely as he goes about his ministry, teaching his Disciples, healing the crowds and ticking off the religious elite.  We are invited to become a part of the story... to "walk" with Jesus and eavesdrop on his conversation, witness his work and try to figure out what it all means to us.

Oh, and I forgot to tell you that this journey is not going to be an easy one.  The roads that Jesus travels are long, dark and dusty.  And although he eludes to his destination a few times...ultimately, the journey will come to an end...at the cross.

How far are we willing to go?  Will we decide to test out the journey in the beginning as if we are simply putting our toes in the water before taking the plunge?  Will we engage with Jesus for a while but then lose interest as his ministry continues?  Or will we be dedicated to him, committing ourselves to his work and teachings and stay with him to the end? 

Today is the beginning of the Lenten journey.  Today is the day that we take time to reflect on our lives... perhaps within the framework of the journey ahead... and wonder how far we will actually be able to go. 

What do we need to do in order to prepare for such a long journey?  40 days (plus the Sundays) between now and Easter... are we ready for that?

Will we need to make some changes, some adjustments to the way we live in order to endure?  Will we need to leave some things (or some ones) behind in order to make it through?  And although many of us have read/heard the story before... this year it will be different.. because we are different.  Are we ready?

So regardless of how you have observed this Lenten season in the past... regardless if you begin with ashes on your forehead or if you eat Filet o' Fish on Fridays... or if you've never walked this path before... you are in for a treat.  Because this long, hard journey begins for you... and for the rest of us... together. 

Take some time today to make your preparations and then let the journey begin.

I think you will be surprised at how far you will be able to go... with Jesus as your guide... your community as your companions... and God giving you the strength to endure.  Let's begin.

My Trip to Springfield

It was a scary moment...the minute I realized that I had said “yes” to something I have never done before.  I said “yes.” 

The question?  Would I be willing to be a part of a small group of clergy to descend upon our state capital and lobby our elected officials in regard to SB10 – the marriage bill?  I said “yes.”

I’ve never done anything like this before.  I’ve always tried to do what I can to be supportive of various legislation but it has always been from fingertip length... communicating through my laptop, signing petitions, emailing Representatives.  But this time...this time I was going to be face-to-face with some pretty powerful people... and I was going to be asking them to do something. 

Now let me just put it out there that I am a supporter of Marriage Equality.  Actually, I should say that I am a supporter of Equal Rights and therefore in support of Marriage... for everyone.  So a trip to Springfield to let others know where I stand just makes perfect sense.

Upon arriving in Springfield (and finally finding a place to park) I attended a Press Conference where several religious leaders spoke in support of Marriage Equality.  The bill has already passed through the Senate Executive Committee and is now on its way to the Senate.  Our work in Springfield this day was to speak with our Senators and Representatives to let them know that there are clergy and religious communities in their Districts who are in full support of this legislation.

Following the Press Conference, our group of clergy gathered for lunch and some instruction from the extremely knowledgeable and very-well organized folks from Equality Illinois.  www.eqil.org  During this time we were encouraged to work in small groups to locate and dialogue with those representing our various Districts.

Unfortunately, because sessions were cancelled for today (Thursday), many of our Representatives sprinted to their cars following the Governor’s State of the State Address and headed back home. 

Our group was able to connect with Representative Darlene Senger. www.senger.ilhousegop.org  Five clergy sat in her office and had a wonderful conversation.  She shared with us that she is yet to make a decision on this issue and talked of the ongoing struggle that this issue continues to raise... how does it fit within one’s faith?

As she spoke with our group I felt honored that she would take the time to listen to what we had to say and thanked us when we offered to provide answers for questions she may have in her decision-making process.

The reality is... I think the most difficult piece of this discussion does often fall along faith lines.  For those of us who have been raised in more conservative communities... of course this is going to be a tough decision.  For those of us who have yet to see how our lives have been impacted by our LGBTQ sisters and brothers... of course it is difficult to put a personal perspective on it.  And for those of us who simply lack the appropriate information on a tough issue such as this... of course it is more comfortable to dig our heels in.

All-in-all, the issue of Marriage Equality is one that obviously is important to me... as a gay man.  And yesterday, while navigating the process of lobbying in Springfield (which did involved passing through the security checkpoints at least 7 or 8 times... being “wanded” all but one time) I was again reminded of how important this issue is for so many others. 

I spoke with a couple who have been together for many years and who have recently had their Civil Union ceremony.  The one thing I kept hearing in their words was the reality that Civil Union is still not equal to Marriage. 

And don’t even get me going on the “Gay Marriage” piece.  If I didn’t get up this morning and “Gay Brush” my teeth... then my LGBTQ sisters and brothers don’t need to be fighting for the right to be “Gay Married.”

It’s MARRIAGE, people!  That’s it!  Nothing more!  Nothing less!

I believe my time in Springfield was beneficial within this process.  I believe that our group’s collective voice was heard... by many.  But the work is not complete.

I urge those of you who also feel that this issue is important to not wait as I have to become more active in the process.  Please... PLEASE... take a few minutes out of your day and contact your elected officials.  Let them know that you too are in support of the Marriage Bill. 

If you are nervous about calling them... call me first.  I’ll be happy to walk you through it.  It’s actually much easier and less anxiety-provoking than I thought it would be. 

Don’t know who your Senator or Representatives are?  Don’t worry.  I can help you with that too. 

So come on!  Join with so many others to encourage our leaders to do what is right... to bring about fairness and security for LGBTQ couples in our state.  It will only be possible if we all pitch in. 

Let your voice be heard.  Mine was... and it will be again!

I'm a Loser

Don't' worry, this isn't one of those posts where I drag you into a dark, gloomy pit of self-revelation and lack of self-esteem.  No, instead I simply want to come out and let everyone know that I am a Loser.  And...because I am a Loser, others can benefit.

Ok, enough of the cryptic leading...

I am taking part in a fitness challenge as a way to get in better shape and bring my eating habits back on track.  Some of you reading this may remember that I did a similar fitness challenge last year and had AMAZING results.  Well, that's what I'm going for again.

Last year, I participated in a 6-week challenge at Top Level Fitness in Naperville, Illinois.

www.toplevelfit.com

During that time, through increased exercise and intentional healthy eating...I proved that I am a Loser.  I lost 19 pounds, 9% body fat and a total of 24 inches.  It was awesome!

But it didn’t last.  Well, let me just say that life happens...plantar fasciitis, an old shoulder injury, the holidays and Linda's "Christmas Crack" all came together to load on the pounds once again.  And now, I'm ready to meet the challenge head-on, lose the weight and fat again and keep it off this time.

By now you are all thinking; "So what? Where's the part where others can benefit from this?" 

I'm glad you asked.

I have decided, as a way to keep myself accountable during the six-week challenge, to invite you...the loyal reader...to join me in the challenge.  No, I'm not going to ask you to get up at 5:15 every morning and meet me at Top Level Fitness.  (although, if you'd like to, you will love it!)  Instead, I'm looking for your support. 

Over the course of the next six weeks, I am looking for folks to support my weight and body fat loss efforts by giving financially in response to my efforts...actually, in response to my results.

I am looking for folks willing to "sponsor" my weight and body fat loss. 

How does that work?  Again, glad you asked.

For every pound I lose...I am looking for a $1 donation.

For every % of body fat lost...I am looking for a $2 donation. 

But the money isn't for me.  See, this is where it gets really cool.

There is an organization called The Trevor Project.

www.thetrevorproject.org

The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth.  Definitely an organization that is near and dear to my heart.

I'm hoping that by rounding up a number of "sponsors" I will be raising awareness about The Trevor Project and the vital work they are doing all while keeping myself in check throughout the challenge.

Ok, here's where it gets a bit scary...

I began the challenge on Monday, January 21, 2012.  That morning, before bootcamp, I weighed 244 pounds and my body fat was at 29.2%.  I am carrying around 71.25 pounds of fat!  Yuck!

I have set a goal for myself...at the end of the six weeks, I will have lost at least 20 pounds and dropped my body fat % to below 20. 

As a sponsor...when I am hit my goals that would mean that you would make a charitable contribution to The Trevor Project of $40 ($1/pound of weight loss and $2/% dropped in body fat).  Or perhaps you sponsor either the weight loss or the body fat % instead of both.

So, are you up for it?  Do you want to help prove that I am a Loser?  Do you want to take a step out and help the many Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Transgender and Questioning youth in our communities...letting them know that there are people out there that care deeply for them?  Take the challenge with me. 

Let me know that you will support my "being a Loser."  Tell me that you will give $1/pound lost to The Trevor Project.  Tell me that you will give $2/body fat % lost to The Trevor Project.  Tell me that these young people are important to you as well.

Are you ready?  I've already begun the hard work...I just need you to say "yes."  Comment on my blog, on Facebook or on Twitter to let me know that you are willing to be a part of this important project.  Join me!

The last day of the challenge is March 3rd.  At that time, I will reveal my total losses and encourage you to then make your contributions.  However, we weigh in every Monday so I will be able to share my progress with you.

If I am doing all of this work to lose the weight and body fat...I’m thinking we may need to add a financial goal to the mix?  If I hit (or surpass) my goals, each individual could be contributing an average of $40. 

I want 100 people to join me in this challenge with the possibility of raising over $4000 for The Trevor Project. 

But I need you to help me with that...spread the word, share my posts, and get others excited about being a part of it.  Together, we can make a difference in the lives of many. 

I’m ready...are you?

It's Just Bread...

Every couple of weeks, the entry space of our little church fills up with boxes and boxes of bread...different brands...different flavors...hamburger buns, rolls, bagels, pastries.  For a visitor walking in it must be rather perplexing.

The bread takes quite a journey before it arrives at our door.  This bread is donated by various grocery stores in our community to the Illinois Food Bank.  The Food Bank in turn distributes the bread to a large number of Food Pantries throughout the state.  The bread that we receive comes to us from the Green Harvest Food Pantry in Plainfield, Illinois. www.greenharvest.org

Once the clients at Green Harvest have done their shopping...there is always bread still left on the shelves.  And...very quickly...Green Harvest receives another shipment of bread from the Illinois Food Bank.

We all know that bread doesn't stay fresh for very long.  The Food Bank knows this...and instead of throwing out the leftover breads, they push it onto the local Food Pantries.  So now, the Food Pantries are responsible for distributing...or disposing...of the bread.

Our church, for a few months now, has been taking this abundance of leftover breads and doing our part in the distribution chain.  About every two weeks Partners and Friends in our congregation are invited to take bread home or to share it with friends, neighbors, local organizations or complete strangers.

There have been some phenomenal stories that come back in regard to the continued journey this bread makes...and I'd like to share one with you.

Each time we receive a shipment of bread, I put a post on Facebook to let folks in the community know that it is available. This past Friday, I had conversation with one of the women in my morning bootcamp class about the bread (yes, I've begun my fitness program again...oh, the pain). She had seen the Facebook post the previous day after the office had already closed.  So, I invited her...actually I invited the entire class to come next door to the church and take some bread home.

While picking up bread for her family this woman began to tell me about another family that she knows and the apparent hardships they are currently enduring.  Of course I suggested taking some of the bread to them as well.

It may seem as something very simple...trivial...a loaf or two of bread.  But in reality, the sharing of something so ordinary with someone who is in need...that's where it becomes extraordinary!  The bread that this woman took home and then shared with another family was a vehicle to let that family know that others care.  We don't need to know their exact situation.  We don't even need to know their names.  We just know that there is a family in need and that we have an abundance of bread.

I am pleased that there are opportunities when resources can be shared...however, there is an underlying issue here that saddens me.  Actually...there are several issues.

There shouldn't be situations such as this where an abundance of food is dangling precariously on the line between usefulness and landfill.   Food insecurity is an issue for so many people...not just in far away lands...but here in our own communities. 

And I probably don't know enough about the entire process of food production...but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that some of the actual retail price configuration factors in the amount that may end up being wasted.  Companies aren't going to want to "eat" that loss. 

So...what can be done to change this?  (you knew there would be a question/challenge in here somewhere, didn't you?)

In reality...I think there is much that we can do...far beyond simply partnering with local food resource organizations in making sure that the abundance doesn't become dumpster-filler. 

So I want to hear from you...the faithful reader... What are your thoughts?  What are your suggestions?  How can we work together to feed the hungry...to drive down food prices, making it available for those who really need it?  And ultimately, what are we doing in our communities to work toward a day when places such as the Green Harvest Food Pantry are no longer needed? 

How can we...how can YOU make that change?

This ROCKS my world...

Thank you, NPR.org for not only providing me with thought-provoking stories to begin my day, but also for something that absolutely rocked my world. (and yes, you'll see soon enough...pun intended)

While browsing through the interweb this morning I came across an entry on npr.org about an artist named Michael Grab.  Michael is a rock-balancer...and I would also say, a very patient man.  I'll add the link to the bottom of this post so that you can see for yourself just how patient he is.

Seeing Michael's work immediately took me back to our trip last summer to Maine.  Peter and I had taken a day to spend on the coast and wound up in Bar Harbor (pronounced Bah Hahbah by the locals).  While there, we walked along the water occasionally picking up stones that caught our interest.  And for whatever reason, I had decided to pause for a moment and begin stacking stones along the shore.

It was not an easy task, for sure.  One-by-one, I placed smooth, flat stones on top of each other, trying to see how high I could go.  And yes, you may have noted...smooth, flat stones.  I mean, come on, how are you supposed to stack them if they don't lay flat upon one another?

Even though I had the advantage of the stones stack-ability, it didn't take very long for me to learn that I was not called to be a stacker of stones.  After my makeshift cairn had fallen several times, I left it behind with three stones remaining.

Seeing artist Michael Grab's work this morning caused me to have a visceral response, wishing that I had the patience (and the time) to do what he was doing.  The process itself has a certain beauty to it...taking that which seems to be unnatural and creating something wonderful.

Perhaps it is the contemplative side of my mind that is quietly saying; "give it a try, allow yourself the time and you, too will experience patience." 

But then, there is another piece to this visceral response.  Looking at the photographs of Michael's work, I couldn't help but think that some sort of Photoshopping trickery was at play.  There's no way that it could even be possible for stones to stack up in that way.  Beautiful pictures...but not real.

But then I remembered...they can't put anything on the Internet that isn't true...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmx4twCK3_I   Bonjour!

Seriously, what is it within me (within us) that causes doubt to enter in?  Is it that we have experienced life in such a way that we have been shielded from such beauty that upon seeing it for the first time we simply cannot believe?  Is it that our minds...our hearts...are so filled with the desire for concreteness that we are unable to experience awe or wonder?

Or are we simply like (Didymos Judas) Thomas, brother of Jesus and we have to "see it to believe it?"

As a people of faith...there are those times in life when we are to suspend our worldly rationale and simply believe...no explanation...no physical proof...no finger-in-nail-holes...

Yet that is not always easy.

We often, flippantly say that we don't believe something...I can't believe it's already 2013...I can't believe school vacation is almost over...I can't believe how much food I ate...I can't believe how many things I can't believe...

What would it sound like (or feel like) if instead, we were to replace "I can't believe" with "I am in awe" or "I wonder...?"

Maybe that's our challenge for today...seek out that which causes wonder...that which invites us into a state of awe.  And when we find it...soak it in, take a picture of it, post it on the Internet, write about it...find a way to share it with others.  And let me know what you find...comment on my blog, Facebook or twitter.  Remember...we are on this journey together...let's share in that which we encounter.

Here are those videos...prepare to be amazed...awestruck...

Michael Grab 5-Minute Demo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JykJrVbCMuM
My favorite - Time Lapse - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tp6GmC1q35Y