Have Hope, My Friends

Do not lose HOPE, my friends!

If you woke up this morning as I did, hoping for a brighter future, a world with more potential than yesterday... and found it incredibly difficult to even pull yourself out of bed, out from under the incredible weight of anxiety and fear that you have been carrying for quite some time...

You are not alone!

Even before putting my feet on the floor, I made the mistake of grabbing my phone to see how the world spun while I was asleep. (never a good idea, honestly... and yet I tend to do this more often than I'd like to admit)

A yet-to-be-determined Presidential election... which was predicted... will continue to play out before us in the coming days, and maybe even longer.

Which means that for some of us, the weight we have been carrying may get heavier as time moves on.

I'm not sure exactly what words may be helpful for you in this moment. If you tell me, I will be sure to use them.

However, for me... what is most helpful when struggling to see through the cloudy uncertainty of the future... what is most helpful when my gut is in knots and my mind is finding it more and more difficult to focus on the tasks before me... is a quick trip into the scriptures where I find reassurance and ultimately... hope.

This morning, words in Philippians 4 are speaking to my heart and I wish to share them with you that they may also be a balm for that which burdens you this day.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you."

I will be spending a good portion of this day in prayer... bringing before God the longing I embody for love and justice to triumph in this land.

I will be praying for you, dear friend... that the weight you carry may be lighter today than it was yesterday... and tomorrow even lighter.

I will be praying for those in our lives who are feeling this weight in ways I will never fully understand... our neighbors of color, those in the queer community... especially our trans siblings.

I will pray for those seeking asylum in the safety this land has the potential to provide.

I will pray for hearts that have been hardened to experience the love of Christ breaking in and softening them so that they too may express love and compassion once again.

I will pray for those whom we have elected to lead us in our communities... local, statewide and national... that they may have ears to hear the cries of the people and work toward a day when we can truly name that this is a country of liberty and justice for all.

And I will pray that we are all well-prepared for the work that is ahead... regardless of who comes out on top in the election... for we have a lot of work to do.

Be gentle with yourself this day and in the days to come.

Be gentle with those around you.

We are all hurting.

We are all grieving.

And we are all loved... beloved children of God, the God who will not leave our side especially now.

Have hope, my friends...

Have hope for a better tomorrow... with God by our side. And may our worries be less and our hearts be filled to overflowing with the love and peace we know to come from the God we worship.

And may we be prepared for the work that is ahead.

Have hope!

[Photo Credit: Ron Smith on Unsplash]

Back to School...

Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash

When I was younger, I would begin feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety knowing that summer was slipping away quickly and that the return to school would be here sooner than I knew.

Television ads had long been promoting Back-to-School sales prompting me and millions of other children to begin envisioning what the return to school would be like this year. 

Some of the more pressing questions for me centered around:

Who will I have for teachers?

Will my social groups still be the same?

And will I avoid the embarrassment of someone recognizing that my "Trapper Keeper" was adorned with last year's design?

Honestly, trivial things filled my young mind as the calendar had us creeping closer and closer to the first autumn school bell.

Fast forward to today... I'm now a parent of three children navigating their summer break with a new list of questions as the upcoming school year approaches. As we are all aware, this summer is not like any summer we have experienced before... and the '20-'21 school year is going to prove to be just as unique.

News media, social networking sites and inboxes are filled with stories and discussions in regard to re-opening plans for schools in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. Plans are beginning to emerge in many districts and with each new piece of information shared, a flurry of responses from parents, teachers and students fills our communication sources once again.

As a family, we are clear on what we seek to have happen this fall. And our decision is based on what we believe to be best for our family. 

And without naming what our decision is... I will state that those two previous sentences could be spoken by many, if not all of the families who are engaged in this conversation. 

No matter where you land on the issue... 

• students returning to brick and mortal schools
• teachers providing at-home instruction via distance learning
• hybrid options of scheduled in-person classroom experiences alongside at-home online study
• transitioning to a homeschooling model
• or any other option that is out there...

The decisions that are being made in our homes, in regard to the needs of our families, are decisions that are made with the best interest of our children at the core. And, they are decisions that are multifaceted, based on both facts and opinions, and at times extremely difficult. 

I empathize with all of the families who find themselves in this situation.

And... I also empathize with those who are tasked with making these difficult decisions at an administrative level... those who are engaged in the development of re-opening plans... because that work, those decisions cannot be easy as well.

While those in administrative positions work to determine best next steps... 

While families work to discern what is in the best interest of their children...

Our communities become polarized.

Words become weapons.

And the opportunity for thoughtful, respectful discussion seems to vanish.

Now, we can recount many other times in our shared history when conversations have become difficult and divisive. However, in this moment there is something else at play.

Since mid-March, as businesses, organizations and schools began to make difficult decisions due to rising coronavirus infections, our collective ability to engage with one another in shared work and decision-making has been hindered by a cloud of grief. No one in our nation is exempt. We are all grieving the significant changes that have occurred in our lives, our communities, our world. 

And that has significant influence on our ability to engage. 

So where do we begin?

What do we do to regain clarity of thought that allows us to more authentically engage with one another?

Well, we can begin in a place of empathy. We can begin with compassion.

There is a passage in the book of Galatians, as translated in Eugene Peterson's "The Message" that speaks to me in this time... and perhaps it speaks to you as well.

Galatians 6:1-3 reads;

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore them, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.

Stoop down, reach out... and share their burdens.

In other words... acknowledge what it is that others need in this moment... and begin from a place of compassion. And in doing so, live according to that which Jesus taught and modeled.

On the topic of school reopening decisions... to begin from a place of empathy, from a place of compassion, affords everyone involved an experience of equality and respect as conversation begins. To engage with someone from a place of compassion leads us quickly into the act of listening deeply to the fears and/or concerns that are held. It allows us to set our own opinions aside and to pay closer attention to that which is being shared. And it opens the dialogue up to a place of deep connection... to a place of deep love. 

Perhaps, another way to say this is to embody the command to love our neighbor. By meeting someone where they are emotionally, acknowledging the weight of grief that exists in their life at this time, we meet them from a place of deep spiritual love. And in doing so, as named in the passage from Galatians, we "complete Christ's law."

As more information is bound to be revealed in the coming weeks...

As countless plans, proposals and revisions are released...

And as an infinite number of responses follow from all directions...

May we allow ourselves to be centered in a place of compassion before responding, before rebutting. 

May we listen deeply to the voices that are being shared with an understanding that many of those voices speak from a place of deep grief. 

May we be compassionate in our listening and in our responding. 

And may we exhibit the love which Jesus modeled to one and all.

For it is our call, our command to be compassionate and loving.

And the time will come when we are in need of the same from others.

My prayer is that we can navigate it all with love and with deep compassion. 

And that whatever decisions are made, we can trust that they are the best decisions that can be made with and for the ones we love. 

A Prayer:

Compassionate God - 

As excitement and anxiety mix these remaining weeks before a new school year, allow us the moments of clarity in living that which you have envisioned for the world. May our questions span from elemental to extravagant, all with an understanding of love as part of each answer. Knowing that "back-to-school" will look different this year... different for each and every one of us... allow us an opportunity to see what it can be from the perspective of others whose decisions are perhaps far different from our own. Draw us into the places of deep love and compassion that fill us and compel us to share it with the world. 

And whatever the decisions may be... may they be made in love... and may all involved be kept safe. 

Oh... and Lord, if possible, allow all of the patterns released by Trapper Keeper to be received as "in" this year as well.

Amen

Don't Be A Goat!

I was hungry and you fed me,

I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,

I was homeless and you gave me a room,

I was shivering and you gave me clothes,

I was sick and you stopped to visit,

I was in prison and you came to me.

~ Matthew 25:35-36 The Message

As the world was just in the beginnings of pandemic life...
As shelves began to empty of toilet paper and hand sanitizer...

We were approaching a pivotal moment that would define us as individuals, as a society, as a nation. A moment where, when looking back at it now, we clearly could have done better.

It was a moment that came quickly, perhaps without much thought... which is why we missed out on an opportunity to live our faith fully, and in turn, to strengthen the wellbeing of our neighbors.

Let me explain.

As history has shown, when we as a society, in our cities, our neighborhoods, experience hardship... specifically, when we fall victim to some type of disaster, we band together to help one another out. We have seen this time and time again following the devastation wrought by hurricanes, tornados, wildfires, house fires, even power outages. When our lives are abruptly disrupted, we have repeatedly sought to help one another.

Emergency shelter has been provided.
Clothing, food and other resources have been shared.
The community has come together in remarkable ways to meet the needs of our neighbors.

A tree falls on someone's house? Complete strangers come with chainsaws to help clean it up.
Winter storm knocks out the power? Neighbors welcome others in to their generator-supported home.
A friend loses their job? We help them out with food or financial supports.

When we see suffering in our midst, we respond. When we see others in need, we respond.

Well... at least most of the time, we do.

When the COVID-19 pandemic was initially descending upon us, we had nothing to compare it to. And that sense of unknowing increased the levels of fear we embodied. And, when fearful, we may not always be making the clearest of decisions.

And subsequently... shelves once filled with toilet paper, hand sanitizer and soap sat vacant for weeks. Produce and meat sections in the grocery store stood eerily empty. And many of us, many of our neighbors wondered where we would find the essentials we needed to survive.

And perhaps some of us also thought, with a slight ray of hope, that someone was going to come to our aid.

We quickly learned that the pandemic was unlike any disaster we had experienced before. Our communities, our nation were not emotionally equipped for what was in store... a drastic shift in our desires to help one another.

There was a rising focus centered more on self... and away from neighbor.

I have found it fascinating, honestly, to witness this shift.

And yes, there are plenty of people who are looking out for others... sharing their toilet paper and their food. Yet, overwhelmingly, the behaviors we were seeing play out in our communities leaned more toward selfish than selfless.

And that is absolutely heartbreaking.

And now, as we have navigated the past several months of the pandemic...
As stores have been able to restock their toilet paper and produce...
We see another example of this selfish nature emerging.

Masks

And somehow, what was to be a resource for community health became a political debate. And the line between selfish and selfless became clearer.

Science continues to show us how a simple cloth face mask can serve as a significant tool in slowing down the virus' transmission. In part, it offers a form of protection for those who wear them. In addition, it provides even more protection for others... those with whom we come in contact.

Wearing a mask reduces the risk of our passing the virus to others.
Wearing a mask is a public witness of our desire to care for others.
Wearing a mask shows that we seek to love our neighbor.

When Jesus spoke of sheep and goats being separated based on behaviors, he spoke of how we are to be more like the sheep... to care for those, the least of these, in our community. He gave us example and instruction on how to live our faith publicly in ways that benefit others. Because, as he named, to do so... to feed, clothe, visit and provide for those in need... we are serving Jesus himself.

I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was living with health concerns... and you wore a mask to keep me safe.

We wear our masks as a way of living out this faith, this understanding. We wear them to care for others, not knowing if we could inadvertently make someone sick. We wear them because we are called to love one another.

With the news of increasing COVID cases nationwide, countless new hotspots where the virus is being transmitted in communities that are opening up once again, we are also seeing a vast number of our neighbors who are forgoing the safety that a mask can provide.

And we are being called once again to live more fully the faith which we embody.

To open up our homes to those who have lost theirs.
To share our food, our clothing and other resources with those who are in need.
To show up with chainsaws to clear away debris.
These are significant examples of loving our neighbor.

And yet, so is wearing a mask.

Jesus said to the goats; "Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me -- you failed to do it to me."

In this situation... let's be more like the sheep than the goats.
Let's love our neighbors in simple and extraordinary ways.
Let's diminish the virus' spread.
And let's take steps toward a healthier existence for all.

Wear a mask
Wash your hands
Distance yourself physically from others (though stay socially connected)

Love your neighbors.
Love Jesus.

And the world will be a better place.

The Cycle Itself is Abusive

In my formative years, our family was subject to recurring abuse at the hands of a very angry, very violent man. I say hands, even though at times there was also gunshot in our home, though never at one of us... always used as a form of intimidation. My stepfather was, and probably still is, a very violent, dangerous man.

I lived under the same roof with him until leaving for college... and for a small amount of time when I returned, before finding a place of my own. 

The abuse was chronic.

It was violent.

Destructive.

Painful.

Emotionally scarring.

Non-discriminatory.

And it was cyclical... woven tightly with times of counterfeit joy and meaningless "love." One day we were a happy, midwestern, small town family. And the next, we were screaming out in pain or frantically calling the cops.

And the cycle continued over the years because my mother felt either trapped by her abuser (and is still with him today), or she believed him when he said he was "sorry," and that it would never happen again. She believed that he had changed. 

Nothing changed.

His claiming remorse for the abuse was an employment of the power he held over us. You see, for an abuser, there's great pride in being able to maintain an environment where they are able to abuse the same person (or persons) over and over again. Because to have to seek out a new target for their violent rage would be too costly for them... better to stay focused on the victim (or victims) they have. And if it means appeasing the victims from time to time, throwing them a bone of false love and false hope in order to get them to stay in the abusive environment, then that's what happens.

He apologized. 

She forgave him.

And we just waited until the next time fists flew before doing it all over again.

I've not been overly public with the details of this abuse-ridden chapter of my life. I've shared details with some... not many. 

And I do not share them with you today so that you may coddle me or feel sorry for me. I love you all and I appreciate it if that is your first inclination. However, what I am saying today is not about me. It is about something much larger.

I share my story in an effort to shine light on a pattern of abuse that I feel parallels in some ways the experiences we are witnessing in the lives of countless numbers of our black neighbors across the nation. I share my story as an illustration in discussing the systemic abuse endured by those in the black community and the at-times inauthentic response they receive from those saying they "have changed." 

I was abused by an individual. 

They have an entire system weaponized against them. 

I share my story with you in response to what I am seeing play out in our nation over the past few days. And what I know has been playing out across this land for hundreds of years.

Using my own story as a metaphor... replace my mother and I with members of the black communities across our nation and insert for my step-father, the systems of white supremacy that were set into motion the moment non-native feet stepped foot on this land. 

The abuse in both stories sadly include fists and guns. However, for the narrative of abuse enacted on our black siblings, the list of weapons is much longer, not to mention quite often less visible. As I mentioned... they have an entire system weaponized against them.

And just as my abuser would occasionally transition from Hyde to Jeckyll, we are seeing modern-day examples coming from systems of abuser in our communities. 

Police are joining with protestors in the streets.

Police took a knee.

And their actions are met largely with applause.

Because they're sorry. 

Because they are showing remorse.

Because they are making promises that things are going to change.

And... these actions may very well be sincere. God knows I pray they are. 

And I've also seen how this has played out in the past. 

So what do we do? How do we navigate this thin space between abuse and reconciliation? 

We watch.

We wait.

We hold accountable those who proclaim a changed heart.

We may forgive... though that very well could be the work for another day.

We remind those who have suffered abuse that it is not their fault. 

We continue to show them... truly SHOW them that they are loved.

We listen to their stories and we show up to stand by their side.

And we stay committed... because the type of systemic change that we seek is not going to happen overnight. 

And those who have enacted the abuse? Well... 

They are going to have to work damn hard to gain anyone's trust. 

Because the cycle itself is abusive and we have all seen it spin round before. 

We will let them know that the cycle must stop... that we will no longer tolerate violence enacted upon black bodies. Period!

It is beyond time to break the cycle and work alongside those who seek to break free from its abuse. 

So let's get to work! Let's bring some accountability to the experience. 

Because the cycle itself is abusive. And it must be stopped! 

"Cheers to the Resistance"

Ok, hear me out. I just watched Taylor Swift’s Netflix documentary; “Miss Americana,” and I have much to say…and it’s not all about Taylor.

I begin by saying “hear me out” because though many of you know that I am a Taylor Swift fan… what I am going to say is (hopefully) going to speak both to those who are fans with me as well as those who are not.

“Miss Americana” is a well-documented glimpse into Taylor Swift’s journey as a female singer/songwriter who has worked very hard to get where she is today. It is also a stark example of what it looks like to speak truth to power. 

The documentary details the shift in Swift’s public persona going from “people pleasing” to a type of truth telling that allowed her to live more authentically. In doing so, continually educating herself on matters that affect the lives of us all, she has been able to share her findings publicly. She has directed attention to how much of what she has seen and experienced coming especially from those in positions of power is counter to the values she holds… the values which many of us hold. 

And, as if too often the case, as she pulls the curtain away and exposes the injustice seated firmly in positions of power on both the state and national levels, she then becomes the target for those who have much to lose if the truth takes hold.

Swift made a potentially career-threatening decision to bring politics into her work because she couldn’t be silent any longer. The lives of too many people were being affected in negative ways, and she needed to do what she could to change that.

It is that fire, that passion, that unwillingness to live the status quo that fueled Swift and fuels us in the ways that we speak up for ourselves and for others when being wronged. And it is that fire that far too many others seek to douse with lies and character smears and sometimes even with violence. 

I’ve experienced it and I’m sure many of you have as well.

When advocating for basic human rights for others, we’ve been labeled as “socialists,” “snowflakes,” and my least favorite; “libtards.” We’ve been called names instead of being invited into legitimately respectful dialogue on issues that affect us all. 

That shouldn’t stop us. 

When calling out injustice in broken systems, we’ve been attacked, dismissed, gaslighted and threatened if we don’t remain silent. 

That shouldn’t stop us.

When in the presence of others who live loudly their ignorance (in its true definition), their racism, their misogyny, we are often overpowered by voices much louder than our own. 

And that shouldn’t stop us either. 

We cannot stop being bothered by the wrong we witness.

We cannot stop speaking the truth to power.

We cannot stop fueling the fires within us that are burning for change.

And as Taylor Swift models in her documentary and in her life… we cannot stop reinventing ourselves for the sole reason that it makes others uncomfortable. There are facets within us that are vital to living out our truth, our authentic selves… and they must be incorporated into our public selves. 

And yes, there is a cost associated with making others uncomfortable… a cost associated with calling out the wrong in the world. 

There is also a cost for remaining silent. 

I’m willing to incur a cost that is challenging for me and my life if it means that others are able to live more authentically, to live without fear, to live fully and beautifully in a world that affirms their worth. That makes it all worth while.

Are you willing to incur the cost as well?

Let’s do this work!

Let’s get called some names.

Let’s acknowledge when we are being dismissed and gaslighted.

Let’s strengthen our voices and speak the truth so loudly that the lies and the hurtful taunts are heard only in the minds of those unwilling to listen to anything other than their own point of view.

Let’s reinvent ourselves using the fire burning deep within us for justice and change to forge a new way of being, a new way of living. 

We can no longer be silent. Because far too many lives depend us.

Continue to speak the truth to power.

Continue to reinvent, reorient yourself toward change.

Continue to challenge the status quo.

It is the only way that things will ever change.

“Cheers to the resistance.” 

Oh, and Taylor fan or not... watch the documentary. Let me know what you think.