They Don't Trust Us

They don't trust us... and why would they?

As the news breaks of a third-party investigation report of the Southern Baptist Convention's decades-old sexual abuse cover ups, Christian churches take another hit. 

I begin by offering a content warning for what I am about to share as it will touch on the issues of sexual abuse and rape involving minors. In addition, and more importantly, I offer my deepest condolences to those who live as survivors of such abuse. Whether as part of the SBC or any other religious institution, to learn of such abuse occurring and the painstaking work that followed to ensure the abuse remains hidden is beyond disgusting.

And, for those who are watching from outside of our faith tradition... that's exactly how we are all being seen. 

The report coming out of the SBC is frankly not surprising. Churches once thought to be a place of safety and compassion have made it clear that this is not always the case. In many of the instances that have been reported over the years, clergy and other members of church staff abuse their positions of power and forever traumatize some of the most vulnerable members of their communities.

Also in many instances, once the abuse is reported... local church or denominational leadership do everything in their power to keep it quiet including, though not limited to, intimidating the victims in an effort to keep the abuse hidden. The report about the SBC makes this abundantly clear in the anger-provoking, heartbreaking details shared by a small representation of survivors of abuse in the church.

It's no wonder so many people lack trust for the institutional church.

I touched on this subject last night with our Faith Formation Team... a team that has, over the years been instrumental in researching the most appropriate and effective ways to ensure the safety of our children and youth as well as any others involved in our faith formation ministries. Over the years, countless hours have gone into writing and re-writing our church's "Safe Space Policy" as well as working with volunteers and families to ensure everyone is on the same page in our combined efforts to keep our community safe. 

This work has involved protocols for ministry events in our church building as well as the work we have been doing online. We want to do everything we can to keep people safe.

Yet, an equally challenging aspect of this work comes in the reality that for many outside of our faith communities, there is little to no trust that we (churches) can actually do what we say we are doing. And that lack of trust factors in to the significant decline being experienced in participation and membership within many churches today.

The fact is... many of our churches are in decline because of the ways that "Christians" have abandoned the Gospel and abandoned the movement which Jesus began.

If we claim to follow Jesus... we have work to do. And that work is not the age-old lament about how we are going to get more people in the pews on a Sunday morning. Those who already don't trust us can smell a hollow attempt at evangelism a mile away. 

No, we must do as Jesus modeled... 

We must meet people where they are.
We must live our faith boldly.
We must be wiling to engage with those who don't trust the institutional church and truly hear them.
We must be willing to admit that we are part of a system that causes far more harm than many within it will ever admit.

And we must be willing to stand up alongside church abuse survivors in telling the truth about how many of the ways in which Christianity has historically been portrayed are incredibly flawed. 

We can begin to do all of this by coming back more closely in line with the movement that Jesus began... a movement steeped in extravagant love, abundant compassion and a counter-cultural understanding of power in the world. It seems it is time once again to flip the tables of injustice... tables that exist within our churches... and we are the ones who must flip them.

I encourage any of you who have read this far to devote some time to reading about the most recent unearthing of abuse in the Christian church and to make a commitment to ensuring that such abuse never happens again. And not that you need it... however, here's another example as well.

If you are someone who claims to be Christian, I encourage you to consider what that means for you and how you are broadcasting that understanding to the world. 

If you are someone who is willing to put in the effort to further Jesus' movement, I encourage you to consider what needs to be stripped away from the abuse-ridden, institutional representations of Christianity in order for the heart of Jesus' life and teachings to be set free once again.

And if you want to be part of this change... I encourage you to consider how that change might begin in you.

Christianity is not dying. What needs to die are the ways in which Christianity has been corrupted in order to hold power over others and to mask the abuse done in Jesus' name.

I'm up for the challenge. Are you? Maybe together we can regain some of the trust that has been lost.

[Photo Credit: Ronda Dorsey on Unsplash]

A Deadly Love Affair...

I spent upwards of two hours last night in a zoom meeting with our Racial Equity Team. The primary purpose of this meeting was to share updates on this year’s process for awarding our Community Racial Equity Scholarship. 

However… moments before signing in, I read the news of a shooting at a Presbyterian church in Laguna Woods, California… not yet knowing that the shooting took place while a Taiwanese congregation gathered there for fellowship. 

I read the news of how this shooter had killed one person and injured others… and how several brave souls rushed the shooter and restrained them, probably saving the lives of many others.

I spoke of my heartbreak to our Team… and noted that as of late it feels as if I am overusing that term. 

Heartbreak

Heartbroken

"It breaks my heart."

It doesn’t matter which way I say it, repeated news of lives taken in this nation as a result of our deadly love affair with guns is heartbreaking.

I offered a prayer as we began our work and then attempted to shift my attention to the task before us… though struggling to do so.

Struggling because the news out of Laguna Woods was sitting precariously upon that which occurred on the previous day… a terrorist attack at a Tops Supermarket in Buffalo, New York at the hands of a gun-wielding, self-proclaimed white supremacist.

And it wasn’t long until that event made its way into the Team’s conversation. 

In part, because this is the work we are about… seeking to rid our communities, our nation of the racially-motivated hatred and violence enacted upon our neighbors who are Black, Indigenous and other People of Color. 

This is the work we are about as we seek to educate ourselves and others of the deeply-rooted, systemic racism that fuels the white supremacy culture in which we all exist. 

“Systemic Racism”

“White Supremacy Culture”

Using those terms in a sentence, I fully know that there are those who will read them and scoff… because according to them, these things don’t exist… because they don’t see themselves within the words, when in reality they are. 

We all are. 

As we continued our conversation, a sense of lament entered in. Fully recognizing that in order for the national conversations on race to shift, in order for our firearm love affair to end, we are in need of bringing people together for discussion… yet what we see most often is a gathering of like-minded individuals “preaching to the choir.”

What would it be like to engage in a dialogue with someone who applauds Saturday’s terrorist attack? Because there are some who do.

What would it be like to hold a respectful conversation with someone whose daily fear is that the government is wanting to take their guns away from them? Because many live with this fear.

What would it be like to sit down and discuss openly the hatred and violence that continues to be stoked in our nation against those who are Black, Indigenous or other People of Color?

I honestly don’t know what that would look like, in part because most of those who share a perspective different than mine have refused to sit down for such a conversation.

I'm hoping that will change.

It’s great that we continue to work together to educate ourselves on issues of race. 

It’s great that we strive to be better examples of humanity in the world.

It’s great that so many of us are seeking to live more fully into the faith we claim, especially when it comes to our interactions with those whose lives are different than our own.

And yet… it’s not enough. 

In order to bring about the change that is necessary… the change that will ensure that we never have to read a headline about a white supremacist terrorist attack again… we must all engage in this work. We must all seek to know more, to be better, to live in such a way that exemplifies the love and justice of Jesus.

In order to bring about the change that is necessary, we must be willing to have open and honest conversations about our love of guns and our hatred of those with melanated skin. 

We must be willing to participate in respectful dialogue on issues that currently hold no other value than to keep us divided.

We must understand and admit that we all live within a white supremacy culture, one from which many of us greatly benefit on a daily basis.

We must not shy away from the work of dismantling systemic racism. 

And we must find ways to invite others to sit down at table and hold those conversations with us.

Our Racial Equity Team is committed to this work… and we invite you to be part of it. I invite you to watch for upcoming community dialogues. Attend our meetings. Commit to being uncomfortable in order to grow, and in order to change. 

Because without that commitment... without a willingness to be vulnerable, to be honest with yourself and with others... nothing will change. And too many lives are hanging in the balance waiting for change to come.

Join us in our efforts to heal this broken nation... this broken world. Message me to talk about the next step you need to take.