I was a United Methodist

Around the time I was in Middle School, a group of my friends were participating in a local church's youth group and had invited me to join them. Now, I wasn't much for church at that time so the acceptance of their invitation was purely based on the opportunity to spend more time outside of my home.

Involvement in the youth group led to registering for something called "Confirmation Camp," a week-long experience that somehow brought me into membership with my local United Methodist Church. I say "somehow" because that week couldn't have been more unique. Yes, I'm sure there were plenty of songs that were sung and stories that were told that resonated with those who found God to be an anchor in their lives. However, for young Timoth, the week was less about a connection with God and more about just having fun.

It was at that camp that I learned how to have wet toilet paper fights. I learned how to wear a toga. And the highlight of the week was learning that when you spray Right Guard deodorant onto a chalkboard and light it on fire, it creates a tear-shaped flame. (Why my parents ever allowed me out of the house is a question I still ask myself... LOL).

Following my week at camp, my time in the United Methodist Church was fairly short-lived...not because of the Right Guard incident, however, that seems like a good excuse as any. No, my time there was short because I wasn't ready. I had known something about myself for a few years leading up to that time... something that appeared to be incompatible with the teachings of the church. I knew that I was gay and I wasn't sure that I could tell anyone... especially in the church.

So I left. I wandered a spiritual wilderness for nearly the next decade until I met a young couple...the pastor of a local United Methodist Church and his wife. They were charismatic, friendly and deeply faithful... and my being drawn to them led me back into the church as well as into an opportunity to serve as a counselor at a United Methodist Camp.

No togas or flames this time. However, I was still unsure as to my level of acceptance. So I asked for a meeting with the pastor.

Standing in his office, I asked Paul, the pastor; "What does the church say about homosexuality?" It was the first time I had said that word out loud... not to myself, not to any family members... I said it to a pastor of a church in which I had found myself unsure as to what would happen when I heard the answer.

Over the years, I have often remarked on how powerful that moment was for me in living into my true identity as a gay man... and as someone who gave church another try.

In response to my inquiry, Paul said to me; "Do you want to know what the church says... or what I say?"

In an instant I knew that I was loved and valued as the person God had created me to be... and that I found myself within an institution that wasn't quite there yet. I felt relief. I felt love. I felt promise.

Fast forward many years. I'm now an ordained Christian pastor in the United Church of Christ... a denomination that has been ordaining members of the queer community for several decades. I am reminded continually that I am a beloved child of God, created in God's image, and that I have dignity and respect within a denomination that has been ahead of the curve on affirming folks like me for quite some time.

I am home!

This past week, as many of you may have witnessed, our Christian siblings in the United Methodist Church have found themselves in the midst of a deeply challenging conversation. Within the UMC, the topics of Same Sex Marriage and Ordination of LGBTQ+ individuals have come before the global church for consideration and ultimately, decisions are being made...decisions that question and deny the basic human dignity of those created to be LGBTQ+.

Though I love being part of the UCC, I know that there are many who love being United Methodist. And although my heart breaks at the church's recent process and the harm it continues to inflict upon my queer, Christian siblings... I pledge to honor and respect the decisions of those in the UMC if they choose to remain in their once-beloved church. I'm not going to suggest they flee to the UCC or other denominations that have been doing the difficult work of full inclusion for some time. In part, because none of us are doing it to the extent to which Jesus would have envisioned.

What I will say is that if or when those who can no longer remain within the UMC find their way to the doors of the church I now call home... for a period of rest and renewal or for the duration... we will open the doors wide and offer them welcome.

We will be a place of refuge along the way.
We will provide shoulders on which they can cry.
We will listen.
We will learn from them what it is to be deeply hurt by an institution that they just as deeply love.
And we will be a balm for them as they seek to heal.

I don't know what the future will hold for the United Methodist Church. However, I do know that for me, the command to love my neighbors as myself has not changed. I pray that I may do so in ways that restore trust and wholeness for those who are now seeing the church as the enemy.

I will continue to pray for our Methodist siblings... and tell the stories of how I have been shaped in and through my time with them. And I would ask you to do the same.

And I will pray that we find ways to navigate this time together, bringing about love and justice, peace and compassion that leads us, together, to one place... where we will be blessed with a stunning glimpse of God's kingdom.

Church Budgets ≠ Anxiety

anx·i·e·ty

/aNGˈzīədē/

noun

1. a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.  

Many years ago, I was given a great gift… I was taught how to recognize my own  situational anxiety. And my life has not been the same since.

The anxiety I have been able to recognize in myself is, as I stated above, situational… meaning that it is in some ways different than that of an anxiety disorder, disproportionate levels of anxiety lived with on a daily basis. My anxiety was most often provoked… a fear surfacing or a tense situation in my life that would leave me feeling angered or distraught. Neither of which rendered me very functional.

And, after a great amount of self-work, once I was able to identify my own anxiety and that which caused it to come to the surface, I’ve been able to work at “nipping it in the bud,” as is often said. I’ve been able to learn my own triggers and feelings that previously almost always led to a session of anxiety felt throughout my body and overflowed into many areas of my life.

Actually, on one occasion, my own situational anxiety landed me in the emergency room at a local hospital with chest pains. Believe me, I don’t want that experience again.

So why am I telling you all of this? Well, in part, to set the stage for what I see as the heart of this piece I’m writing. And I also share this in hopes of naming something that many of us have experienced…and perhaps still experience on an all-too-often basis…as a way of saying that we are never truly alone in our experiences.

I share it also to let you know that for the type of anxiety which I have experienced, with work, I’ve found it can be controlled in a way. And as I stated already, the anxiety I am going to speak of is different than the clinically diagnosed variety which can lead to needing much more attention and possibly medical assistance than that which I have experienced.

Becoming better at recognizing that which raises my own levels of anxiety has also allowed me to be more aware of the experience in others. And that being said… I want to name an experience that I’ve witnessed more times than I can count of unnecessary anxiety growing within the church…nearly any church.

Now of course there are many things that can cause anxiety. Yet the one that seems to be the most prevalent in my observations is that directly linked to money. And in churches, I come about almost always when the community comes together to talk about its budget for the coming year.

For many of us, 

Church Budgets = Anxiety

And they don't have to!

Here at Newman UCC, we’ve had our share of anxiety-producing budget meetings in the past… as many churches do.

Significant deficits

Fewer pledges

Increased expenses

Unsure markets

You name it. If it has anything to do with the actual church budget, it has the ability to create anxiety in at least one, maybe more of the community members.

And knowing that we will be gathering in just a short amount of time for our Annual Budget Meeting, some in the church have begun recognizing their own church budget anxiety and doing a bit of “self care.” They are looking for any excuse at all to not be available to sit in on the meeting. LOL

When in reality what we need is for those people who recognize their own anxiety around this topic to show up and be part of the conversation that, I hope, will lessen that anxiety and replace it with a much healthier emotional experience.

You see, not one of us knows what the future holds. We don’t know exactly what God has in store for us, what new ministries may emerge, what old ministries may be retired. We don’t know how much it will snow or how much energy the solar panels will generate. 

What we do know is that God is calling us to be a place of ministry, with and for our neighbors… locally and globally. And we do that, in part, with resources named in our annual budget process.

So this year when we gather for our Budget Meeting, we will go in to that meeting with a budget… and we leave with a Mission Plan. The work we will do in that meeting will provide direction for that in which we will share in the coming year. Work and ministry. Worship and fellowship. Fundraising and advocacy. 

And in the midst of that process, we will give thanks for the incredible ways God’s Spirit has been at work in and through the very generous members of our faith community. 

So come, set aside your church budget anxiety and be part of celebrating God’s ministry in this place! 

Because:

Church Budgets ≠ Anxiety

Don't Be One of "Those" Ushers

It's Sunday morning. The sanctuary is set for worship to begin. The choir is in its place. Music hangs in the air as the congregation settles in. The Communion Table is set with homemade breads and those tiny, little chalices filled with Welch's Grape Juice. All things are ready.

We've gathered at this table before... many times, actually. We've heard the story of Jesus sharing his final meal with his friends. And then we are invited to eat and drink that which has been prepared and blessed, with the reminder that no matter who we are or where we are on life's journey, we are welcome to receive from that which is upon Christ's table.

Until today... today is different. The meal hasn't changed. The story is still the same. Yet, our actions will speak louder than our words.

Seeing the message of "God's Doors Are Open To All" printed on the rainbow doors out front, a new family decides to worship with us. They've heard about how welcoming our church is and want to give it a try. You see, they were part of another church in the next town over until things became too difficult for them to stay. For a variety of reasons they no longer felt safe there and decided that their only option was to leave.

And we became their destination.

The family begins walking toward our front doors... when all hell breaks loose.

The ushers, positioned at the church's entrance, have locked all of the doors to the building and have begun lobbing canisters of tear gas at the would-be visitors. Accompanying the assault are words shouted by the ushers; "Go back to where you came from! You're not welcome here!"

The parents frantically grab their children and run for safety, coughing and gagging as the tear gas makes its way into their mouths and lungs.

Inside, worship has begun and the organ is pumping out a boisterous tune, loud enough that those gathered in the sanctuary are unaware of the war that has erupted just outside the doors. And when it comes time for communion...they eat the bread, drink the juice and rejoice that the God they worship has called them to be part of such a "welcoming" community.

Now... thankfully, this is not the scenario playing out on a Sunday morning in our church. Nor would it be. I mean, our ushers are incredibly welcoming people.

However, this scenario is playing out on the southern border of our nation. Those leaving their homes behind because they are no longer safe for them or their families, in seeking asylum in our nation are greeted not with welcome arms but tear gas and rubber bullets. At one of our nation's ports of entry, a war zone has erupted. Families and children are running for their lives as they are fired upon.

Just as the Communion Table can serve as an open, welcoming destination for those of us who are in need of at least one place where we can be our true selves and not experience judgment or suffer harm, our nation once served as a place for those whose lives were in turmoil.

Until now. Now, those seeking asylum... those escaping extreme poverty, civil unrest and living conditions not one of us would wish for ourselves... they are met at our militarized border in a trauma-inducing rain of weaponry.

A not so subtle message of (un)welcome.

In just a few short weeks the church is going to be celebrating the birth of one whom many of us have chosen to follow. And yes, our culture has sterilized the story in a way, making Christmas more about his birth than about the circumstances that surrounded it. You see, Jesus wasn't born into a world that was perfect... far from it, actually. He came into a world where those in power sought to kill him... and eventually succeeded.

His family were refugees... escaping a situation that would've surely ended with not only Jesus' death but perhaps that of Mary and Joseph as well. Jesus was born into extreme hostility.

Can you imagine if when Joseph and Mary knocked on the innkeeper's door they were met instead by stones hurled at them from inside? Thankfully, that's not the story we have learned.

The innkeeper cared for these strangers, had compassion for them in their moment of great need. And the church has grown to carry on that tradition of hospitality, of caring, and of extravagant welcome. The church has lived into the call to love our neighbor... no matter who they are.

So once again, our churches are in direct contrast with the world in which we find ourselves. Our neighbors to the south are in need of our help. At the very least, they need to know that those hurling tear gas canisters at them and their children do not represent what we know to be the heart of our nation. And we must do what we can to put an end to this inhumane treatment.

Because the reality is... if we don't put an end to it soon, it will escalate. History provides plenty of examples for us, unfortunately.

So today, we must all live into our calling as Jesus-followers. We must make it a priority to address this situation. We must stand up for the lives of those whom some in our nation deem insignificant. Call your elected officials now and demand that we cease to militarize our borders, that we cease to inflict harm upon those coming to us seeking asylum.

Because this is not who we are! And we cannot, with a clear conscience, prepare to celebrate the birth of one refugee while waging war on others!

Our Faith is at Odds With Our Culture

In light of recent events in our nation and in response to a concern raised that the #MeToo movement is becoming a permission-giving movement where false accusations can be spread with intent to harm, I share this:

No movement, #MeToo or otherwise, dare I say no behavior, should EVER be lived with an intent to cause another person harm. And the #MeToo movement, in its creation, was not developed to give people permission to cause such harm. It is meant to bring people together with similar trauma histories in order to remind them that they are not alone and to remind the rest of us that our nation, our world, is in need of significant change in order to bring us to a place where we truly love one another as God intends… which sadly is not the experience of many in our nation today.

Many women and men are denied this experience of abundant love because of the overwhelmingly abusive power presenting as systemic misogyny and racism that are at the heart of much of our nation and its leadership today, both locally and nationally. And we see this most often when our neighbors begin to step out of the shadows and name the violence/discrimination/oppression they endure. We’ve seen it with Black Lives Matter, March for our Lives and now with #MeToo.

Jesus saw through this abuse of power in his time. He surrounded himself with those whom his culture continually brushed aside. He named to those in power the extent to which they had abused their positions and caused harm to their community and God’s beloved children. And then, Jesus in instructions to his disciples and to anyone with ears to hear, passed on the same instructions to us today. We are to love one another as God intended. This means listening when someone names how they have been harmed. This means being present for those who have endured abuse. This means taking a hard look at the system, the institution that has been created and decide whether or not it is in line with that which God envisioned for us. And if not… we must do everything in our faith and in our power to correct it.

Too many of our neighbors are being re-traumatized because people are unwilling to believe that someone would be capable of doing something so horrible. And we, as the church, as followers of Jesus Christ, must stand up against that ignorance and help to bring the truth to light.

Claiming to be a Christian is probably one of the more difficult things to do in our world today… because it means living according to a faith which is often at odds with our culture. Unfortunately, we are seeing this more and more in our world today. And as I’m sure that God weeps at this reality… I weep as well.

Despite (or perhaps because of) knowing how difficult that could be, I recommit myself, and invite you to do the same, to live according to the faith which God instills in us… to do justice, to love unconditionally those whom we know and those whom we’ve yet to meet, and to walk humbly with the God who dreams of a world where peace can finally be experienced. Until that day, we must do as Jesus commands… to speak the truth to power and pray that our love of neighbor helps to bring about the necessary healing in our world.

Church... I love you!

This is the letter that was shared as one of the testimonies in worship on Sunday, May 6.

I thought I would take the Apostle Paul’s lead, and craft and present to you a letter - from me, to you.

Timoth, devoted follower of Jesus,  humble servant of Christ Jesus,

To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Rumford, with friends and members of the faith family that is Newman Congregational Church, United Church of Christ.

Grace and peace to you.

Grace and peace to you in the name of Jesus, who through his radical teachings and his modeling of extravagant welcome provides for us all an experience of unconditional love. In the name of our Creator God and God’s Most Holy Spirit, the unseen, that flows within and around us all.

I thank my God every time I remember you.

Now, I’m not just saying this… I truly am thankful for each and every one of you. For through you I have been blessed. My family has been blessed. God has been at work in and through you since before I arrived. And will continue with you long after I am gone. 

(ok, just a parenthetical note here - please don’t take that last line to mean that I am considering leaving. I take very seriously the consideration that Nancy Gage presented to me the night of my first interview with the search committee. While touring the buildings we found ourselves in the Narthex - or the entryway - admiring the portraits of several of Newman UCC’s former pastors. I remarked how wonderful it would be to come back to this place which at the time was a mere 370 years old, how wonderful it would be to come back in 30 years for the 400th anniversary. To which Nancy questioned; “what do you mean ‘come back?’” Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere)

I shared with our search committee in the beginning and I share it again with you now. I have never felt a stronger sense of call to ministry than I do in this place. And together, we have accomplished great things.

And yes, it hasn’t always been easy. During my time with you we have seen, and moved through, significant conflict. Some of that conflict brought about due to the mere understanding of how it is that God has created me to be. 

And what we have learned in the process echoes the understanding found in the words of the great theologian, Kelly Clarkson - “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

We are stronger. To quote another great theologian, Pat Trodson; “We are not what we once were - and we are more what we should be.”

The conflict we have navigated came on the heels of some of the most joyful moments in my life, and in our shared experience.

You were there with us as Peter and I stood on this very spot and celebrated our marriage, finally legal in all 50 states although I would be remiss if I didn’t name that Rhode Island was one of the first to pass this justice-filled legislation.

You were there to celebrate the day with us. And just over a week later, you were there when we adopted our first son, Jacob.

You were there when our family grew by two more, when we adopted Adrian and William. And now, as we open our hearts and our lives to other children, you have been and are now there for us as we foster these children.

Who wouldn’t be thankful for a community filled with aunts and uncles, grandmothers and grandfathers all willing to share in the nurturing of these children… and of course, in the holding of the baby?

I thank God for those moments and for the role this church played in it all. The outpouring of love was a testament to who you are and how it is that you are living your faith in this place.

And I believe, the bond we created in those moments helped us to navigate the treacherous landscape that was about to become our reality.

For many of you know that following our wedding and Jacob’s adoption, the waters became a bit rough and our faith family began to divide. 

I would skip right over this portion of our shared history if it weren’t for the fact that it was in the midst of it all that I saw how strong you were in your faith. I saw how it was, and is now, that Jesus’ life and teachings mattered to you… mattered so much that you embodied them.

Many of you in that time spoke the truth with love, even if it meant naming the unhealthy behavior of others who were dear friends.

Because of your witness, God’s church in this place has been able to thrive.

I give thanks for the ways in which God guided you, guided us to the place we are now… through shared wisdom and prayer, love and mercy, we have grown in our faith and in our witness to the world of what it means to be true followers of Jesus.

As I look at you now, you are a new church. We are a new church, more closely reflecting (I believe) that which God has envisioned for us.

We have taken Jesus’ commandments and breathed them down into our very being.

Our love of God is apparent - in our worship, our shared ministries, our dedication to one another and to this place. We live it when we celebrate the sacraments of baptism and communion, accepting God’s invitation to community and welcoming others in.

And our love of Neighbor abounds.

Hygiene Kits and Clean Up buckets

Eggs for Haiti

Blankets for victims of Domestic Violence

Blessing Bags

Soup Kitchen

The Bread of Life Food Pantry

Aids Care Ocean State

Hospice Care of Rhode Island

RIOP

Crossroads

Back Bay Missions

Haiti Clinic Medical Staff

Summer Youth Mission Trips

Collations following funerals and Memorial Services

(If I weren’t writing this to you in the form of a letter, I would step down from the pulpit and invite each of you to add to this list as I’m sure I have missed many of the ways in which we live out our commandment to love our neighbors. But alas, this is a letter and not a sermon so you will have to do that work on your own - taking a moment to think of the ways in which you have seen our shared work live out our faith in our community, our nation and around the world.)

One other way that I can name as to how it is we live out our love of neighbor is through our denominational support.

Of the roughly 5,000 congregations in the United Church of Christ, our financial support for the work of the church locally and globally through our commitment to Our Church’s Wider Mission ($33,000 budgeted for this year - which is actually down about $13,000 from previous years) - this commitment puts us in the top 1% of churches based on our level of support.

God continues to do great things through you. Lives are blessed because of you. And I thank God for you.

I thank God for the invitation you have extended to me to participate in your lives and in some of the most sacred, most intimate of moments. 

I have baptized your children.

I have buried your loved ones.

I have sat at your bedside in hospitals and hospice.

I have listened as you’ve cried.

And I have rejoiced with you as you celebrate.

And with each of these experiences, if I have not named it already let me name it now… I am honored to be your pastor. I am honored to be invited into these moments where we name God’s presence and lean heavily on our faith with an understanding that we are not alone in that which we encounter.

Church - I love you!

I love you! It’s not something I often say from the pulpit so I write it in this letter. 

I love you for the many ways you accompany me on my journey. For the many ways you engage with the various crazy ideas I present. Drive Thru Ashes as but one of many examples.

I love you for never giving up… on me, on one another, on this church… I love you for never giving up on God.

I love you for supporting me in my continuing education, growing in my own faith and leadership, growing in my understanding of what it is that God is calling me to be about in this place and in our community.

I love you for showing up.

I love you for your honesty.

I love you for your bravery, your commitment, your perseverance, your hospitality, your eagerness to learn, your ability to admit failure and to move on to new things.

I love you for living as God intends as best you are able.

So friends, know that there are an infinite number of words I could add to this letter showing how thankful I am that God has brought our lives alongside one another. Trust, if given the opportunity and the time, that I would love to sit with each of you and to hear in your own words how it is that you see God at work in your life. 

I know that God is. And God will continue to be faithful in that, entering into your life in truly spectacular ways.

This Thursday, as I give God thanks for 10 years of Ordained ministry, I will give thanks for this community as it is you who have helped to most fully form me in my understanding of who it is that God calls me to be… and subsequently, who it is that God is calling us to be as God’s church.

And for that I am also truly thankful.

Go forth and continue to testify to love. Proclaim Christ. Live the Gospel and assist in God’s great plan for healing and reconciliation.

God has begun a great work in you… and God will be faithful to complete it.

Thank you for inviting me into it all. 

I thank God for you daily.

Greet everyone you meet in the Spirit of Christ Jesus. And know that all of the Saints greet you.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

For as long as I shall live

I will testify to love

I'l be a witness in the silences

When words are not enough

With every breath I take

I will give thanks to God above

For as long as I shall live

I will testify to love

Hunting Humans Has Become a Nationally-Supported Pastime

Again...

we are tossed into the frenzy of post-terror lament
we are awe-struck at the level of evil displayed
we are numb
yet we are alive

And many...some... maybe a few of us are still praying...

praying for the victims
praying for their families
praying for the city, the nation, the world
praying that things will change (and they won't)

Things won't change unless we change
And we won't change until we can embody the change we wish to see

Hunting humans has become a nationally-supported pastime
Silence in the face of injustice
We might as well have been holding back the trigger on the automatic assault weapon ourselves

When will we admit that the blood being washed away with our tears is blood on our hands?
When will we acknowledge that terror reigns supreme in the minds of angry white men?
When will we recognize that the God we are praying to is waiting for us to act?

The God I worship holds no marionette strings, no hand-up-my-back
I am free to (and must now more than ever) move about and speak out

This IS the day to talk about gun policy!
(I've contacted all of my elected officials to let them know)
This IS preventable!
That is, only if we want to prevent it... we have to want to prevent it.

As terror reigns once again... prayer is never enough.

Don't stop praying! Just know that is not enough.
Be the change!
Act now!

Despite the situation...

It was a beautiful time to be at the park. A little hot, actually. But the kids didn't seem to mind. They were running around, climbing everything in sight, swinging on swings and sliding down slides. It was a school night, not our typical time to be at the playground. However, something else took us there this day. 

We piled out of the car, me and six children. That's right, six! Three are ours, each adopted out of foster care over the past few years. The additional three came to us as a foster placement...a sibling group that had initially been split up, and now reside together in our home.

The three siblings were coming to the playground for a visit with their parents.

Now before I go any further, I have to acknowledge that the experience we are currently having is not the experience for all who are fostering children. In our situation, we speak or have email correspondence with the birth parents on average two to three times each week. And on this occasion, as I transported the children to their visit, I was able to meet the parents face-to-face. And I'm glad I did.

Throughout the time that their children have been in our home, my husband and I have been clear that we are caring for these children in a foster care capacity. We are not planning to adopt. We are providing a loving environment for them while their family works on what they need to do to have the children return home. And it seems as if that is what they are doing.

Back to the park - Our boys were thrilled to have a chance to run wild, burning off the energy from being at school all day long. And while they played, the three siblings soaked up some quality time with their mom and dad. Honestly, it was a joy to see the parents interact with their children, running with them around the playground, going down the slides with them, and smiling ear-to-ear the entire time.

The family sat at a table together talking, eating some snacks and just loving on one another. It was beautiful!

Our boys and I left the park for a while, came back home to complete homework, and to allow the siblings some time without us in view.

Upon returning to the park, I met again with the parents as we loaded the children back into the car. The children received an extraordinary number of kisses and hugs and the words "I love you" were shared back and forth numerous times. There is no question in my mind that this family loves their children and vice versa.

While getting everyone buckled in, mom continued to thank me for all that we are doing to care for her children in this time. She has thanked us many times before via email and on the phone...thankful for bringing all of her children into one home, and thankful for the tender care we are providing.

Mom and Dad waved as we drove away. And the children waved back. The conversation on the way to our home was filled with stories from the playground and of the visit. There were no tears, no tantrums. All three of the siblings transitioned well back into our routine that evening and went to bed without a hitch that night. It's an incredible situation.

I think in part we witness very little "post-visit" behaviors because the children know they will see their parents again soon. They visit weekly and a phone call is made home a couple times during the week between the visits. They remain connected with their parents...and it works well for them. And they know they are loved!

The following morning, the children's birth mom emailed us, again thanking us and acknowledging that this isn't the ideal situation. And this time she said a bit more. Here are her words:

"Despite the situation with my kids not being home I have honestly had a great experience so far with dcyf and you! You have been amazing and I know I thank you every time but it means the world to me especially to communicate with you and to have you and Peter involved with helping our family back under one roof."

Reunification. We're taught in our foster care training that it is the initial goal when the majority of children are removed from their home and placed in foster care. Obviously, this is not the outcome for all children...hence, our three adopted sons. Yet it is an understandable goal... reuniting children with their parents, or relatives, in an environment that is now safer and healthier for these young ones. 

And though the word reunification can strike fear into many with the thought that the children for which they are providing care will one day leave, it can be a beautiful thing. 

I write these words today, while the three siblings are still within our care. We love having them with us. We love having all eight of us seated around the dining room table at mealtimes. We love the interactions we witness between all of the children, playing and screaming with excitement  Our boys are showing incredible compassion for their three "new siblings," understanding that the day will come when they will go back to being with their mom and dad. 

And I trust that that day will come for this family. I pray that it will happen, not in order to lower the decibel level in our home once again (although, that will be nice - LOL), I pray that it will happen so that these children can experience the love poured out from their parents on a daily basis. And, I pray that we can continue to be in relationship with them... children and parents.

Far too often we see stories of families known to the foster care system where if only the family had some sort of additional supports or relationships, things may have turned out differently. There are too many people in our state, in our world, who are in need of those types of loving, compassionate, supportive relationships. And we can each be part of changing that. These relationships are at the heart of what foster care can be.

I cannot see the future so I honestly don't know how this is all going to play out. There are many factors at play far beyond my control. Whatever the future may hold, I hope that it is an experience where we will be part of the lives of these three children and their parents for many years to come. 

Stories of foster care are never the ideal situations. Yet, I'm thankful to be part of this one.