Search and Call - Saying Goodbye

Saying Goodbye

It has been some time since I’ve posted one of my reflections on the Search and Call process… in part because at this stage of my process, I’m clearly in need of more hours in a day and days in a week.

So as I prepare for my final days with the incredible people of Newman UCC, I thought I would share another reflection on what may clearly be the most difficult aspect of the Search and Call process… Saying Goodbye.

As faith leaders, we are in a unique situation in our role with those whom we have been called to serve. We are invited into some of the most sacred moments in the lives of others, offered the opportunity to form and nurture incredibly deep relationships. We are given a glimpse into aspects of the lives of others that at times are shared only with us. 

As faith leaders, we are called to walk a very thin line between pastoral presence and friend. So when the decision has been made to leave a ministry setting, it is no wonder that emotions run very high for us and for those whom we have served. 

And when it comes time to say goodbye… well, let’s just say that some of those emotions and the overall anxiety felt within the community can easily get amplified.

The actual moment of saying goodbye is perhaps the most unsettling part of this entire process. And there is an aspect of it for faith leaders in the United Church of Christ that is at best, debated… and at worst, misunderstood.

So… imagine that I’m ripping off a big band-aid with this next line, just to get it out there and then we can discuss it.

When a faith leader leaves a ministry setting, they cut all ties with the community they have served. 

No more visits.

No more phone calls.

No emails, text messages, social media interactions.

No returning for baptisms/weddings/funerals.

All communication; All relationships cease.

And that, my friends, is the suckiest part of this entire process!

After all of the time invested in cultivating deep, meaningful relationships, this goodbye severs them instantly… leaving members of the faith community without a pastoral leader (at least for a period of time).

So it is no surprise as the final goodbye approaches that many questions are raised. I’ll address some of them here. And know that these responses are my own… based on my understanding of the United Church of Christ’s Ordained Minister’s Code where it states:

“Relying on the grace of God, I covenant with my ministry setting to neither interfere with nor intrude upon the ministry of my successor, upon my departure from a ministry setting…”

By ceasing to be in communication and relationship with those of the faith community I am leaving, it ensures that I will not stand as a barrier for my successor in their developing and nurturing relationships with those in the community to which they are called. And yet, even the suggestion of such a transition tends to raise a lot of questions for those in the faith community.

Let me share with you some of the questions I have heard (and please note, my specific situation has me moving from one faith community to another within the same Conference… only 45 minutes away):

- “Will we still be ‘friends’ on Facebook?”

No. I will be “unfriending” anyone from my current ministry setting. And though I will not be blocking their profiles, and occasionally still seeing the content they post, I will no longer be engaging with it.

- “Can I come worship with you in your new setting?”

Though I cannot tell you not to, I will remind you that you already have a faith community… and it is with that community that you have made a covenant. If you show up for worship in my new setting, I will welcome you… and suggest that this be the only time you join with us.

- “Can I be part of the online worshiping community at your new setting?”

Again, though I cannot tell you not to… please see my previous response.

- “If I see you in the community, will you speak to me?”

Absolutely! It will be wonderful to see you. However, we just won’t talk about “churchy stuff.” And this also goes for anytime we happen to be attending the same Conference events.

- “How long do I have to wait to “re-Friend” you on Facebook?”

Though there is no written guideline for this specifically… know that I will probably not “re-Friend” anyone from my previous ministry setting. And actually… all of my social media content is public so we don’t have to be “Friends” for you to see it. Just know that if you interact with my social media posts… I won’t be engaging as I have done in the past.

- “Can I ask the next faith leader to invite you back for a baptism/wedding/funeral?”

Though I cannot stop you from asking… I will tell you that my response will always be “no.” Your next faith leader will be your pastor. I have been honored to fill that role for these past years. And I trust that my successor will be just as honored once you let them cultivate relationship with you as we have done. And though I will not return for baptisms/weddings/funerals… I do hope I would receive an invitation to return for the church’s 400th Anniversary… in 21 years. I will look forward to seeing you then!

- “What if I don’t like the next faith leader?”

Get to know them. Let them get to know you. Trust in the work that the Search Committee has done in discerning who it is that God is calling to lead in this next chapter of the faith community’s life. And know that it is just as challenging for the incoming faith leader. Give them a chance… and remember, it is the community with which you have made a covenant. Pastors come and go… the community remains. 

- “Will you miss us?”

Oh, hell yes! I love you all! You have become an integral part of my life and the life of my family. Of course I will miss you. And each time I feel that tinge of sadness I will give God thanks for the time we have had together and the many ways you, as a community, have helped me to grow. I will miss you dearly!

God has brought together faith leader and faith community for a period of time. And during that time, all have shared in some of the most wonderful, most challenging, most rewarding moments together. And though God is now calling the faith leader elsewhere… we can trust that God never leaves our side. 

This time of transition is not easy. 

Saying goodbye to someone we love absolutely sucks.

And though distance has now become part of the equation… the love shared over the years will always remain. 

[Photo Credit: Xavi Cabrera on Unsplash]

Search and Call - Grief

Today's Topic: Grief

I want to thank everyone who has been commenting on this series of posts about my experience in the Search and Call process. Please keep interacting. Though that which I am sharing is my own personal experience, the stories many of you have shared alongside mine are rich and informative, and in a way healing.

Which is a good place to start for today's topic… Grief.

I often try not to use blanket statements or broad brushstroke generalities… however, in this situation I am confident that what I am about to say is absolutely true across the board.

Each and every Search and Call process involves (invokes) a significant amount of grief.

The three times I have navigated Search and Call have included experiences of deep grief for many of those involved. And yes, I say “many” and not “all” because not everyone grieves when a pastoral 

leader transitions out of a ministry setting.

Take for example the single word response I received recently after announcing my departure from my current faith community. “Hallelujah!” was all that they wrote in the email response.

Not everyone grieves when you leave.

For everyone else involved, the news of such a transition brings with it a flurry of emotions… and an entry into the at times heartbreaking process of navigating grief.

Now, for those of us who have studied grief and grieving processes, the responses to a pastoral leader searching for and accepting a call to another community come as no surprise. There’s plenty of denial expressed initially as well as some bargaining. And anger is always sure to rear its ugly head. These responses are to be expected when someone with whom we have developed relationship over a long period of time announces that those relationships are coming to an end.

Side note for those reading this who are not entrenched in ministry settings and/or pastoral relationships… Within the United Church of Christ, it is recommended that when a pastoral leader leaves a particular setting, they are to cease relationship with those in the community alongside whom they have been in ministry. Now, before anyone challenges that statement… let me also acknowledge that across the varied experiences within the United Church of Christ, I have seen just as many examples of how differently that is actually lived out.

I’ve witnessed pastoral leaders who exhibit exceptional boundaries in their leaving, affording those who follow the opportunity to develop deep relationships with those with whom they are called to serve. And I’ve also witnessed pastoral leaders who suck at this… to the point of causing great harm to both the community they have left and to the leadership that is called to follow them.

It makes sense to me that when leaving a ministry setting, we are no longer to serve as a pastoral presence for those in that community. Whomever accepts the call to follow us in that setting will be stepping into that role. And, it also makes sense to me that in my role as pastoral leader I am not to become “friends” with those whom I’ve been called to serve.

I’ve seen how ugly things can get when those in a faith community think they are “friends” with their pastor and that pastor announces they are leaving and ceasing to be in relationship going forward. Talk about anger rearing its ugly head…! Grief really does, at times, bring out the worst in some of us.

And yet, I also understand that this is all part of a grieving process for those in the community as well as for the pastoral leader who is leaving.

Pastoral ministry is an extremely lonely vocation for many of us. In part, because it can be exceptionally difficult to grow friendships with those who are outside of the faith community from which we serve, without them then wanting to come and be part of that faith community. If and when they do… everything changes.

So for many pastoral leaders, and often their families, the communities from which they serve become their social circle, making it even more difficult to leave when the time comes.

And that is the grief that I am now navigating.

Those within the community I’ve been part of for these past nine years are people whom I have grown to love deeply… making it that much more difficult to leave to accept a new call. And yet, if I am to trust in God’s guidance… I am also to trust in God’s call to new ministry. And no… that doesn’t make this any easier.

And for many pastoral leaders in the midst of their transition, this grief is real and difficult to navigate in a short period of time.

You see, as the faith community we are leaving enters into a time of searching for a new pastoral leader, some of what they are seeking will be a person who can minister with and to them as they grieve during their interim period. The pastoral leader transitioning out doesn’t often get that opportunity.

Many times the pastoral leader leaves one ministry setting and begins a new ministry elsewhere with little to no time in between to grieve. They must therefore be extremely intentional about their own self care and mindful of how much of what they are experiencing is their own grieving process.

In the first post I shared in this series I wondered about how the Search and Call process may be different. I continue that sense of wonder here in regard to the grief lived by so many when the process is engaged.

I know the grief is not avoidable, nor should it be. Yet I wonder if there are healthier ways we can navigate it together which include a reliance more fully on God’s work in our midst.

I wonder what it would look like to dedicate the time left together as an educational journey on how God walks with us in and through grief.

I wonder what it would be like for faith communities and their pastoral leaders to experience significant growth in the midst of this grieving, equipping us all for the times ahead where we will again experience these severing of relationships.

I wonder what we as a denomination may be able to envision in an effort to provide pastoral leaders a period of time in transition to walk within their grief and seek opportunities for healing.

I wonder what it will take for us all to name how deeply we love one another within such a time of uncertainty, and to then wish each other well as we go our separate ways. I’m actually experiencing some of this now with the people whom I love so deeply. And I can trust that God is already at work within them and their journey in grief.

Thanks be to God!

I’m curious… what are your wonderings about grief within this process?

[Photo Credit: Xavi Cabrera on Unsplash]

Search and Call - Spouse/Partner

Spouse/Partner

With this entry I'd like to expand a bit on my writings about “Family” within my experience of Search and Call process in the United Church of Christ. And I fully recognize that this particular topic may not speak to everyone’s experience… I only write of my own.

I also recognize that not everyone reading these entries is a pastor. Not all pastors have spouses/partners. So for all of you who are not me, I invite you to peek through the window at what it has been like for me and Peter over the years.

A bit of backstory first. When Peter and I were early in our courting stage (LOL, I just wanted to use the word “courting”), I recall telling him that he does not want to be the spouse of a pastor. This was, in a way, my attempt at sparing him from the many challenges that come with being the spouse of a pastor.

Fast forward to today… Peter is THE BEST spouse any pastor could ever have. And sorry, everyone… he’s mine!

On a foundational level, the reason I was hesitant for Peter to enter this role was that I knew a bit about how spouses of pastors have been viewed (and treated) in churches.

Now, historically many of the spouses were women as the majority of pastors were men. And thank God that has changed! And historically, many wives of pastors would land in particular roles within the church… Sunday school teacher, piano player, or the ones who always head up the various social gatherings where lady fingers and finger sandwiches were served.

Within our experience in Search and Call throughout our years together, a troubling aspect of being spouse to a pastor is that when I was being interviewed… Peter was as well. Now, this wasn’t an official interview, of course. Search committees weren't asking Peter to talk about his Christology or theology of atonement.

However, (and Peter has articulated this so incredibly well over the years…) much of what a pastor’s spouse/partner says and does becomes a direct reflection upon the pastor themselves.

Let me repeat that… Much of what a pastor’s spouse/partner says and does becomes a direct reflection upon the pastor themselves.

Now, we may not like that fact… and yet, hearing from other married/partnered clergy, it’s a fact in so many settings. And it’s a fact I learned long before entering seminary and meeting Peter… A fact that he and I, and many others, are keenly aware of to this day.

There’s something about some faith communities’ inability to separate the spouse or partner from the pastor that is both deeply puzzling and not, at the same time. And I would suggest that it is not healthy.

When interviewing a candidate as potential pastor for a faith community, all involved are doing the important work of discernment. Pastors and search committees alike are listening intently (hopefully) for the voice of our still-speaking God to guide them in the process. And, when it seems that God has brought the two together… pastoral leaders and faith community… wonderful things can be accomplished.

And yet, I can also understand from the perspective of those doing the interviewing that though they may feel that God is calling a particular candidate to be their next pastoral leader, if that candidate’s spouse or partner is a total “piece of work,” there may be reason for pause.

And yet… there's also room for grace. If the committee is certain that God has a role in the bringing together of community and leader, the spouse or partner should not enter into the equation… in my opinion.

Now, I have been very blessed each time that I have navigated Search and Call in that I have an incredible spouse who “gets it” when it comes to church politics. He, and I’m sure many other spouses, understand the unwritten rule that the words and actions (or inactions) of the spouse reflect directly upon the ministry of the pastor. And that, perhaps, is a great opportunity for growth within each and every faith community.

What might it be like if faith communities, not just search committees, had conversations about this? What might it be like if it were named within the process that the church is calling a pastor… not a pastor and their spouse/partner… not a pastor and their family?

I believe that a pastor’s spouse doesn’t even need to be a member of the church from which the pastor is serving.

I believe that a pastor’s spouse doesn’t need to serve on any teams or committees or boards… officially or unofficially (I’m looking at you, lady finger enthusiasts).

I believe that a pastor’s spouse doesn’t need to attend worship, doesn’t need to participate in ministries, doesn’t need to form connections or relationships within the community from which the pastor is serving.

I believe the pastor and their spouse or partner to be separate. And I believe our faith communities can eventually learn this as well... and know that some already have.

Now, all of that said… I love my spouse immensely. And I love when he is involved in the ministry to which I am called. And… I also am appreciative of the many ways that he is a supportive role in my life and ministry with or without involvement in those things.

Another challenge for those in relationship with pastors during the Search and Call process is how the curtain is pulled back and they're are able to see people in the church at both their best and their worst. Spouses and partners of pastors are witness to the ways that pastors are welcomed, supported, appreciated and utterly abused by faith communities.

They are the ones there when the pastor receives their seventh rejection form letter; “We have prayerfully and carefully… blah, blah, blah.”

They are the ones there when the pastor deeply grieves over a search committee’s lack of transparency or commitment to the search process.

They are the ones there when the pastor’s “dream church” says no. (I paused here to think if I've ever applied to what I would consider a “dream church” and I’m not really sure what that even is, especially when trying to remain open to the process of God’s work in the midst of it all.)

Spouses and/or partners of pastors are the ones there to celebrate the new beginnings, to watch as ministry unfolds, to offer a shoulder of support when times get tough, when funerals keep coming, when people ghost the church, when trust is betrayed, when anxiety is high, when faith communities struggle and when God leads them someplace new.

Spouses and partners play a significant role in the ministry of a pastor... a role best determined within their relationship and not by the community being served.

After re-reading this very long entry (and thank you all for hanging in there), I guess there are two audiences being address in this post… those in faith communities engaging in ministry with married/partnered pastors… and the spouses/partners themselves.

Perhaps we can get to a point where the spouses are no longer being interviewed… as well as a point where more spouses understand that they are.

I’m curious… what have been your experiences?

(One last thing... I celebrate that a handful of times, in all of my years navigating Search and Call, I was asked if my spouse/partner would be attending church. That told me that those search committees "got it.")

[Photo Credit: Xavi Cabrera on Unsplash]

Search and Call - Family

Today's Topic: Family

In my most recent post about the experience I have had in the Search and Call process in the United Church of Christ, several of you were very willing to engage with me and others around the topic of “secrecy.” Thank you. Please keep it up.

Today I want to touch on part of my experience that also came up in your comments about secrecy… and that’s what it was like for me to navigate this process as a family.

The first two times I went through the search process, it was just Peter and me. We didn’t adopt our children until we moved to Rhode Island so there were only two of us in the conversations prior.

And Peter was very involved in the process. In fact, in the early days of the search process… back when the national listings were only updated once each month… Peter would scour through the listings and make very strong suggestions on where I should send my profile. LOL

(Side note… Peter knows his stuff and can spot an inauthentic church 1000 miles away)

In earlier searches, Peter shouldered a good amount of transitional stress as he was tasked with finding employment in the new city to which we were called. Now… thankfully, he is able to do his work (extremely well) from anywhere that has cell reception and internet.

To have a spouse or partner who is willing to navigate this process alongside you is one of the greatest gifts, in my opinion. To have someone who “gets it” has also been one of the most wonderful things for me on my journey in ministry.

And yes, this is the opportune time to say; “Peter, I love you and appreciate you so much!”

Ok, enough of that. Let’s talk about the challenges of search and call with a family.

As you know, we now have three children, each of which live with some particular challenges and diagnosis due to the life they lived before we met them. Therefore, when looking to transition the family, the needs of the children are quite important.

For years, Peter and I have been navigating the school system in order to advocate for the needs of each of our boys… and, as some of you know, we have met an increasing amount of challenges in our current school system.

So not only was a seeking a faith community to which God was aligning my gifts, I was also seeking a school district that is capable of providing our children with the very best educational experience possible. They deserve that!

Thankfully, in this most recent search, we were informed of a local school with a long-standing reputation for incredible special education services. Awesome!

Now, touching back on my secrecy post, we opted not to tell our children that we were searching until the very last minute… like, the night before I candidating with the new faith community.

In reality, one of our children is unable to fully grasp the concept of searching for a new call and moving to a new city. He will adapt as we go.

We kept the other two out of the loop initially in an effort to keep the information close. The last thing we needed was for one of them to share with one of the neighborhood kids that we were looking to move.

So we told them the night before we candidate… and for the most part it went as expected. A mix of not really grasping what this means with a bit of “I don’t like it.”

And that’s part of the struggle of searching with a family. This decision impacts them all. Just because I, or whomever is in the search process, feels called by God to a new setting, doesn’t necessarily mean the rest of the family is fully on board. So it was really important for Peter and I to discuss this along the way.

And now, it is really important to support our boys as best we can throughout the transition.

And every family is different. Every family has its own unique aspects to navigate in this process. There is no “cookie cutter” way of getting through it.

I’m thankful that I have a husband who “gets it,” and children who are resilient and who will adapt to the new setting… in time.

That makes all the difference!

[Photo Credit: Xavi Cabrera on Unsplash]

Search and Call - Secrecy

[A note before I begin... in writing today's bit of sharing, I recognize that these thoughts are not coming in any sort of chronological order. Welcome to how my brain works. Perhaps once I conclude, they can all be categorized accordingly... by someone else.]

Today's Topic: Secrecy

Tell me that we’ve lost sight of how God is at work in our lives without telling me that we have lost sight of how God is at work in our lives.

I’ll go first

One of the most heartbreaking aspects of my experience in the search and call process within the United Church of Christ has been the level of secrecy that must be held throughout the process. It begins as we are invited to create our ministerial profiles which require a certain number of individuals to serve as references.

Most often, though not always, at least one of the three references to be provided comes from within the current ministerial setting from which the candidate is currently serving. So not only do we, the ones searching, have to be enshrouded in secrecy throughout the process, we now are inviting others to also live in secrecy throughout the extent of our search.

Talk about icky!

Now I’ve heard some say that the reasoning behind the secrecy of search and call is in part to protect the relationship the pastor has with their faith community. And I have seen how that relationship can be shattered once a faith community knows that their pastor is planning to leave for another call or retire.

A large contributor to the change in relationship, I believe, is the grief that all involved are beginning to navigate. So… For those of us in the search process, many of whom are people pleasers, it makes sense to want to protect people as long as we can.

And though that may be the reasoning behind some people‘s desire to maintain secrecy in the process, another clear fact is that as soon as the process is out in the open, conflict is not far behind.

And if you are anything like me, we avoid conflict at all costs.

Another aspect of challenge with the extent of secrecy required in the process comes in the relationships that begin to form between the candidate and search committees.

Recently, In my search and call experience, I made a comment about the secrecy required in the process to a search committee during an interview. I shared that it was as if I were “cheating“ on my church by being there with them for the interview.

Again... talk about icky!

Now, I understand that not every pastor enters into the search process because they are feeling a strong sense of call from God to another setting. Some leave due to conflict. Some leave due to family dynamics. And, there are an infinite number of other reasons.

And regardless of the reasons behind leaving, I can't help but think that the secrecy required keeps us from living fully into who we understand ourselves to be as people of faith.

I have to think that an integral part of a search and call process that is too often missing is the open acknowledgment of an alignment with the Holy Spirit. The calling a pastor to a new setting or a local setting calling a pastor to walk alongside them must include this alignment.

However, in all of my years of ministry I cannot recall any clergy person announcing that they were initiating a search process because they felt that God was calling them elsewhere.

Why not? What is keeping us from doing so?

Claiming to be a people who believe that God is still speaking, couldn’t we somehow acknowledge hearing God speak?

Claiming to be a people who rely on the movement of the Holy Spirit in the midst of our lives and ministry, couldn’t we find a way to acknowledge it?

The amount of secrecy required to be held in this process leads to some easily avoidable and yet horrifically painful experiences. A simple example of the pain experienced comes when members of a faith community receive the news of their pastoral leader leaving. Some begin to feel as if they have been betrayed in some way as their pastor has been off "cheating" with other churches. And that sense of betrayal, I believe, could be avoided.

Now I've heard many times that there is a common understanding that pastors only stay for a specific period of time with their faith community. I wonder what it would be like if we continued to lift that up as a reality based on the understanding that God continues to speak, the Holy Spirit continues to move, and pastors are called to serve elsewhere.

It seems like there may be ways to avoid some of the damage done by the secrecy of this process while also lifting up one of our core believes in a God who continues to speak in our midst.

[Photo Credit: Xavi Cabrera on Unsplash]

Search and Call - Communications

And it begins…

As we set out on this journey together of what it has been for me to navigate Search and Call in the United Church of Christ, I invite you to go back and read through the first post I did in preparation. In part, I suggest this because this journey may at times not be for the faint of heart… and by that I mean that it may ruffle some feathers along the way. And… it is my hope that through my sharing of this experience, others may be equipped and perhaps a bit of change may occur.

So… let’s dig in.

For those who are not part of the United Church of Christ or those who have never had to endure the Search and Call process, either in search or in call, let me give you some grounding information.

In the United Church of Christ, our local church communities embody an experience of autonomy and are therefore able to hire and fire their own pastors. And similarly, clergy are able to apply to churches wherever and whenever they like.

In some ways, it is this autonomy that adds (in my opinion) unnecessary stress and anxiety to the Search and Call process.

What do I mean by that? Well, each faith community forms a Search Committee to receive and review profiles from prospective candidates. They read through hundreds of pages of vital information as they seek to discern who God is calling to be their next pastoral leader.

In that process, there is a lot of opportunity for communication with the applicants… as well as many missed opportunities.

When I was in Search and Call the second time, over nine years ago, I began to recognize the communication challenges within the process. One such challenge was the fact that Search Committees were well-resourced through our denomination… and perhaps too well-resourced, as I found quickly that each and every rejection letter I received was word-for-word from the denominational resourcing.

When I would open an envelope (yes, these came as actual physical letters back then) I would read the opening sentence and know immediately if it was a rejection letter.

“We have prayerfully and carefully reviewed your Ministerial Profile and we want you to know that you are no longer under consideration.”

I don’t know exactly how many of these rejections I received. However, I do know how sterile and unemotional they felt, often leaving me questioning; “Did you really? Did you really ‘prayerfully and carefully’ consider me?”

Those letters were quickly discarded… all except for one. I have to this day a hand-written rejection letter from a church that used the exact same wording. However, the fact that someone took the time and energy to write those words to me by hand… well, it felt special, so I kept it.

This experience of cookie cutter communications began to leave a bit of a bad taste in my mouth, though not as much as the experience of extremely poor communication on behalf of many churches. It became clear that many committees were neglecting to realize that they (often) were not the only church with which I was communicating. It felt as if their timeline was the only one in existence. Which, in some cases meant a bit of surprise when they heard from me that I had accepted a call elsewhere and was removing my profile from their consideration.

I had one church actually tell me at that point that I was their top pick… yet had not communicated anything to me that would signify I was even being considered.

Communication from these committees was often very little and infrequent. In fact, I am still waiting to hear back from a church that received my profile and expressed interest in me fifteen years ago. (I hope they’ve found someone by now.)

I greatly appreciate the resourcing that is provided through Association, Conference and National Staff to churches and pastors for use in the Search and Call process. Lord knows I have relied heavily upon it at times. So I thank all of those who have been such a blessing to my process over the years.

And… I also recognize that their are many ways we can do better as local churches and as candidates in Search and Call process.

Ultimately, there's great opportunity here for grace and compassion while also striving to honor the time and effort put forth by all involved.

[Photo Credit: Xavi Cabrera on Unsplash]

They Don't Trust Us

They don't trust us... and why would they?

As the news breaks of a third-party investigation report of the Southern Baptist Convention's decades-old sexual abuse cover ups, Christian churches take another hit. 

I begin by offering a content warning for what I am about to share as it will touch on the issues of sexual abuse and rape involving minors. In addition, and more importantly, I offer my deepest condolences to those who live as survivors of such abuse. Whether as part of the SBC or any other religious institution, to learn of such abuse occurring and the painstaking work that followed to ensure the abuse remains hidden is beyond disgusting.

And, for those who are watching from outside of our faith tradition... that's exactly how we are all being seen. 

The report coming out of the SBC is frankly not surprising. Churches once thought to be a place of safety and compassion have made it clear that this is not always the case. In many of the instances that have been reported over the years, clergy and other members of church staff abuse their positions of power and forever traumatize some of the most vulnerable members of their communities.

Also in many instances, once the abuse is reported... local church or denominational leadership do everything in their power to keep it quiet including, though not limited to, intimidating the victims in an effort to keep the abuse hidden. The report about the SBC makes this abundantly clear in the anger-provoking, heartbreaking details shared by a small representation of survivors of abuse in the church.

It's no wonder so many people lack trust for the institutional church.

I touched on this subject last night with our Faith Formation Team... a team that has, over the years been instrumental in researching the most appropriate and effective ways to ensure the safety of our children and youth as well as any others involved in our faith formation ministries. Over the years, countless hours have gone into writing and re-writing our church's "Safe Space Policy" as well as working with volunteers and families to ensure everyone is on the same page in our combined efforts to keep our community safe. 

This work has involved protocols for ministry events in our church building as well as the work we have been doing online. We want to do everything we can to keep people safe.

Yet, an equally challenging aspect of this work comes in the reality that for many outside of our faith communities, there is little to no trust that we (churches) can actually do what we say we are doing. And that lack of trust factors in to the significant decline being experienced in participation and membership within many churches today.

The fact is... many of our churches are in decline because of the ways that "Christians" have abandoned the Gospel and abandoned the movement which Jesus began.

If we claim to follow Jesus... we have work to do. And that work is not the age-old lament about how we are going to get more people in the pews on a Sunday morning. Those who already don't trust us can smell a hollow attempt at evangelism a mile away. 

No, we must do as Jesus modeled... 

We must meet people where they are.
We must live our faith boldly.
We must be wiling to engage with those who don't trust the institutional church and truly hear them.
We must be willing to admit that we are part of a system that causes far more harm than many within it will ever admit.

And we must be willing to stand up alongside church abuse survivors in telling the truth about how many of the ways in which Christianity has historically been portrayed are incredibly flawed. 

We can begin to do all of this by coming back more closely in line with the movement that Jesus began... a movement steeped in extravagant love, abundant compassion and a counter-cultural understanding of power in the world. It seems it is time once again to flip the tables of injustice... tables that exist within our churches... and we are the ones who must flip them.

I encourage any of you who have read this far to devote some time to reading about the most recent unearthing of abuse in the Christian church and to make a commitment to ensuring that such abuse never happens again. And not that you need it... however, here's another example as well.

If you are someone who claims to be Christian, I encourage you to consider what that means for you and how you are broadcasting that understanding to the world. 

If you are someone who is willing to put in the effort to further Jesus' movement, I encourage you to consider what needs to be stripped away from the abuse-ridden, institutional representations of Christianity in order for the heart of Jesus' life and teachings to be set free once again.

And if you want to be part of this change... I encourage you to consider how that change might begin in you.

Christianity is not dying. What needs to die are the ways in which Christianity has been corrupted in order to hold power over others and to mask the abuse done in Jesus' name.

I'm up for the challenge. Are you? Maybe together we can regain some of the trust that has been lost.

[Photo Credit: Ronda Dorsey on Unsplash]